1 Week

My exchange year basically went a little something like this:

September, October, November, December, January… June 22nd.

My last day of school was yesterday, and I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much in my life.

There came a point where, as I was going from person to person with hugs, breathing became a difficulty.

As there was a line of kids forming to give me a hug, I felt so loved. I’ve never felt so lucky in my entire life. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life. I can’t even begin to describe the feeling leaving so many people behind.

Today was the typical end of the year pool party. I’m so lost when it comes to finding the right words to say goodbye.

This is way more difficult than the beginning.

At this point in the journey, crying comes and goes unexpectedly and on a daily basis. I can’t begin to explain the feelings I have. It’s like each goodbye rips out a tiny piece of my heart. The difficulty to let go of a goodbye hug is absolutely terrible.

But all together at the same time, these feelings and the crying, when looking at it from a different angle, they’re good. It only means that I had an amazing time.

Which I surely did.

 

Home Stretch

This is all coming to an end.

I find my emotions towards these last 3 weeks to be more depressed than excited. I wish it wasn’t so hard, and I wish time would even slow down a little.

I’m trying so hard to take everything in, but the days here fly by. I wish I could remember every single thing that made me laugh, every moment I felt a sense of belonging, or when I started to understand everything. However, that’s impossible, and slightly frustrating.

I’m not ready. That basically sums up everything.

I have this massive part of my heart dedicated to Spain. Every single person I’ve met while being here has a spot. Even down to do that kid who thought it would be funny to call me “cheeseburger”. It’s a weird thing, because no one gets how much they mean to me.

I just can’t stop thinking about everything.

More than anything, I’m just incredibly happy for this. All of it.